


Whispers and Memories

by SweeterThanYourDarkestSin



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26258227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweeterThanYourDarkestSin/pseuds/SweeterThanYourDarkestSin
Summary: Memories are fragile things. Luckily, love trumps magic every time.
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Whispers and Memories

A sudden shiver jolts through my body and drags me from sleep. I am suddenly aware of how cold it is in my room. The darkness is heavy, which means the fire I’d built the night before has put itself out at some point. One of the shutters on the wide window is cracked open, and in the lamplight from across the street, I can see snow falling. I’ll need to close it for now; I can enchant the window in the morning to keep the cold out. 

Then, from the corner of my room, in a spot I cannot see from my curled position in bed, comes the sound of footsteps. I freeze, heart seizing in a panic so sudden it steals my breath. Through cracked eyelids, the footsteps become a body, one that crosses the open window to stop before the chest at the foot of my bed. 

The lid lifts with a quiet creak, and the sound of shuffling, purposeful shuffling, gives me pause. Tremors shake me again, and the lid of the chest falls with a soft tap as the figure tuts. There’s a soft sound, and I only recognize it as an extra blanket unfurling as it settles over me. 

Whoever is in my room moves out of sight again, but I recognize these sounds. The fall of wood, the crinkle of kindling, the strike of flint. The room is awash in warm light, and I know that the heat will soon follow. Over the crackle and pop of wood, I hear the sound of disrobing. Boots hit the floor, perhaps a coat swishing over the back of my chair, cloth falling softly; the figure, a man, cursing softly in the chill.

Footsteps pad across the floor and the edge of my bed sinks under the weight as he sits on the edge. I uncurl my fingers, frozen from fear and cold, and let magic pool in my palms. I take a breath, readying myself to move, when he leans forward, letting his head fall into his hands. His broad shoulders curl inward, his back taut with tension. I’m struck with the sudden urge to comfort him; to wind myself around him and bury us both in the sheets until well past sunrise.

I know him.

I don't know how, I can't remember, but something in me knows this man. Knows his sorrow, and hurt, and heartbreak. Knows his joy, and laughter, and passion. Knows that in his arms I have found refuge, safety, and love. I can feel something begin to crumble in my mind, a seal flaking apart under his nearness, his familiarity. The magic ebbs out of my palms, and I fist them back into my blanket. I want to see what he will do next. 

He continues to sit on the edge of my bed, head in hands, elbows on knees, as I begin to drift back off to sleep. I'm warming up, and I know he means me no harm. A soft sigh flutters from my lips as I burrow back into the covers, startling the man from his thoughts, and in turn pulling me back from the edge of sleep. 

A deep chuckle echoes from his chest; the sound sets something alight in me. He rises gracefully, and I close my eyes before he can turn. I want to see his face, to trace my fingers over features that something in me knows deeply, intimately. 

But a whisper, a fragment of a displaced memory, says it will be so much sweeter to see him again illuminated in the rosy gold of dawn's first light; to watch his features be painted in sweeping hues to banish the darkness settled in my memories. I wait for the covers to lift, but instead, I hear him move away. Panic takes a hold of me, more fear of him leaving than the unknown. Before I can open my eyes, I hear the basket of wood shift, more logs are tossed in, and a sigh; he must have gotten chilled and didn’t want to make me cold. 

A few moments later the edge of my quilt lifts and a body much larger than mine slides in beside me. I’m immediately bundled into strong arms, my head tucked beneath his chin. He tangles our legs together as one large hand sweeps up my side to twist in my hair, cradling my head. His heart thunders under my ear, but it is a comfort I didn’t know I missed. 

Tears spring to my eyes and sheer force of will keeps them from spilling past my lashes. I have been adrift these past few months, knowing that something isn’t quite right, but not knowing how to correct it. But this, this is grounding. This is salvation. He’s holding me like he can’t bear to lose me, like I’m something infinitely precious. His skin is warm under my cheek, and I turn gently in his arms to press myself more fully against him. 

I push one arm under him to curl my hand over his shoulder blade and anchor myself to him. The other I wind around his neck, pressing my face more firmly against his pulse and sigh. His body seizes with tension before melting beneath me. His lips press against my hair, my forehead, my temple before his body curls more firmly around me. Finally, I drift back off to sleep, and I know, without having to cast my magic out, that I will sleep deeply and fully for the first time in a long while.

I can tell it is still early when sleep releases me from its spell. The streets have a muffled quality from last night’s snowfall, and cold has crept back into my bedchamber. But I am sweetly warm, tangled in blankets and the limbs of my stranger. He has slipped down in the night, and now he is tucked under my chin. 

I pull away ever so slowly; I don’t want to wake him. The early morning light slants through the open window, and I am breathless; he’s gorgeous. Tousled red hair is spread like silken fire across my pillows. Pale lilac tints the pale skin around his eyes, screaming volumes about sleepless nights. I drag my hand from the blankets to brush through his curls, trace over his brow, over his nose which feels as though it's been broken before.

My fingers slide down, tracing the bow of his lips before sliding across a sharp jawline to rest my palm against the strong pulse in his neck. My eyes retrace the path my fingers had left, drinking in the face that had been hidden from me last night. Dark lashes flutter against sharp cheeks and lift to reveal eyes the cloudy gray of oncoming storm clouds. 

For a heartbeat, he simply stares at me, widening eyes making me smile. I slide my hand up to curve over his cheek, brushing my thumb against his skin as I lean closer. The seal in my mind crumbles completely, and I can't drag my eyes from his even as they fill with tears. Memories rush over me like floodwaters, receding to leave my locked memories free. His hand slides along my arm, curling around the back of my neck, pulling me forward even as he moves in. There is hope and desperation warring in his eyes, and I press myself as close as I can and still meet his gaze.

“Good morning, Julian. I love you.”

The words are barely off my lips before he seals his mouth over mine. It's the last words spoken in my bedroom for several heavy moments. I finally tear my mouth from his to hastily draw air into my aching lungs, my body pinned beneath his lithe form. I make no move to escape from under him, instead drawing him more firmly and fully against me. He pulls his mouth away from my throat where he’d been leaving kisses in the absence of my lips. He settles against me, the glint in his eyes promising mischief and delight.

“My darling, I do hope you have nothing planned for today. As your doctor, I am afraid I need to prescribe you bedrest after I’ve examined you.”

I reach up, threading my fingers through his hair to draw him back to me, catching the vibrant flush against his pale skin before my eyes slip closed.

“I am yours, Julian; as you are mine, I am yours.”

I am pressed back into the mattress, eager to accept the flurry of kisses that rain down on me. I doubt we will be leaving the sanctuary of my room for very long, and I am tired of the cold. A flick of my fingers snaps the shutters closed tight, enough to make Julian jump and allow me to tumble him beneath me. He blinks up at me, a predatory grin stretching his mouth. 

“How I’ve missed you, darling; my love, my heart.”

I press my mouth to his to quiet him and hide my blush, only to find myself beneath him once again. Several kisses later find me nose to nose with Julian, storm gray eyes searching mine.

“We have to talk. There are many things I need to know, and much for me to tell you. But…”

He trails off, hand skimming down my arm to catch my hand and bring it to his lips. 

“For now, my love, I would like to reacquaint myself with you.”

I thread my fingers through his, leaning up to press kisses over his face. 

“I do believe, Ilya, that I will allow it.”

He rolls his eyes as he descends, trapping me between his arms.

“How gracious you are, my love.”

I level him with my best glare that turns out to be ineffective since I need to close my eyes as his mouth settles over mine. 

“Hush.”

His body moves against mine, and I push everything away that does not pertain to this moment. We can discuss my lost memories later, the broken seal I can still recall that locked them away. We can talk about him breaking and entering much later, a bad habit he still hasn't lost.

But for now, I am going to focus on the man before me, as desperate to reconnect in all ways as I am. I am going to pour months of listless longing into passion and be revered by this man who cradles me like he holds the stars in his hands. 

It will be a long time before we untangle from the sheets.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!


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